“Out there you’ll see it all. The floating ends will meet and mend and you will be yourself; your fully-formed self of selves.” ~Deborah Mears


 The solo selfie. Artistic. Provocative. Beautiful. I can appreciate selfies. For others. For me, they scream, aacaroleselfiedn“Look at my outside” which – like most females, I have learned to love but am still wrestling with accepting some things. Like – how to pour my curvy, Italian body into my skinny, French jeans. And then there is the dreaded swim-suit and dressing rooms and tears. Lots and lots of tears. Followed by more running, hiking, 19,000 steps on the fit-bit, green shakes in the Vita-Mix, no carbs, frustration and chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate.

I am, however, beyond comfortable screaming, “Look at my inside.” I am in love with what is inside. No apologies. Rapid-fire thoughts, round the clock. Rainbow-color decision making. (No black and white for me.) Intense burning passion for all things. Love the world mentality.

Plus – my knees go weak at the sight of a field of flowers.

Angels singing. Heavy sigh.

But – this is the age of images and selfies are here to stay. This dressing room, solo selfie caught my attention with the “conscious” sign hanging at the top and the price tag dangling from my back. It got me thinking about what we should be conscious of, with regard to valuing ourselves, loving ourselves and what  we choose to share of ourselves – inside and outside. Composing this list, helped me put it into perspective.

10 Tips toward Self-Value, Self-Love and Better Selfies

1. Celebrate your flawlessness. Appreciating your allure, does not make you vain or shallow. It makes you grateful. Don’t dim your beauty – let it shine.

2. Celebrate your imperfections – the ones you deny having, because you believe they make you unlovable. You are wrong. They make you more lovable. They are your glorious trademarks and they distinguish you as a miracle.

3. Compliment yourself. Never condemn yourself. Go easy. Be kind. And make friends with the reflection staring back at you, in the mirror.

4. Know your worth. Keep the imaginary price tag that dangles from you – high. You are valuable. You are not a clearance item. Do not sell yourself short.

5. Be self-assured. Wear confidence – like your favorite sweater. Wrap yourself in imaginary layers of joy, passion, and hope – to heal the places where you may have grown sad, or flat, or faithless.

6. Light yourself up. Create good lighting conditions, by working on your inside gifts and talents. Allow the passion of all the things you have fallen in love with – to burn so brightly, inside you-that it illuminates your outside.

7. Stop comparing yourself to others. Always remember that you are not a vision to be objectified or judged or rated. You are love in motion – with a beating heart, a miraculous mind and a soul that tethers you to Heaven.

8. Accept your body. Embrace your curves, your straight lines, your frame. Your body is the mold meant for you to move through the world in. Honor that.

9. Ignore numbers. Don’t allow the size label inside your jeans or the weight on the scale – to make you feel badly about yourself. They are only numbers. You are so much more – than a number.

10. Be authentic. Tap into your true essence. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not. The camera can pick up fake and your shot will be ruined. Lose your shallow. Honor your deep – for depth is a natural photo enhancer.

Take your selfie. Share your selfie. But know – you are infinitely more than the image you are projecting. You are made up of love and dreams and talent and hope and pieces of every person you have ever loved and every person who has every loved you. You are stardust and moonbeams and miracles and magic.

You. Are. Beautiful. And so… is your “Selfie”.

Wishing you all – more of what really matters – and less of what never will.

Peace and Love and Chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate…
Carole Rose


Photo by Lisa Schaffer


Author of Petals and Thorns - Life Lessons from the Rose Garden and Wishes and Weeds - Gifts from the Wildflower Meadow


  1. Mary Ann Axelsen

    What an absolutely and positively beautiful outlook on what’s truly important in life. Too much emphasis is focused on the exterior measures of beauty. Yes, of course, we feel more confident when we can put our best foot forward and make a good first impression based on our outward appearance, but what keeps people in our lives is all about what’s on the inside and how we connect with people. It is so very crucial to remember to nurture ourselves and be kind to ourselves. Carole, thank you for the gentle reminder and your perfect words. May the new year bring you continued blessings.

    • caroledowhan

      Mary Ann, thank you for your words of wisdom, so beautifully expressed. I appreciate your support and I wish you many blessings in the new year and always!

  2. All good points, that I am in the process of learning myself. And you…. certainly should be more than pleased with inside and the outside. Meeting you, it took only a few minutes to know that you are a special person. I liked you instantly! Love your photos…. love your writings! ♥

    • caroledowhan

      Thank you Torrie! This comment made my day. And the feeling is mutual. Loved meeting you and love your breathtaking photos. We need to connect and go on a photo hike. Thank you so much! <3